Shitsuren
by bad-lil-lolita
Summary: Atem and Anzu have grown very close since his final duel, but when a long lost love comes crashing back into his life, destinies will intertwine, and Atem must choose between the past and the present, along with who's heart he will break, if not his own.
1. You Remind Me of Someone

"Put on the burn play list I made, Yugi." Atem exclaimed before he licked the edge of the cinnamon flavored blunt paper to seal it.

"Haha, you made a play list just to smoke weed too?"

"My life has a soundtrack, Yugi, so yes, of course I did." Atem said sarcastically.

"I don't know about this guys…" Anzu said, nervous about smoking for the first time.

Atem put his arm around Anzu.

"Oh, sweet innocent Anzu…I apologize for being so quick to corrupt your poor little untouched mind, but you don't have to smoke if you don't want to. But, in the event that you do decide to, it's nothing to worry about, its quite fun really."

Anzu blushed immediately after Atem laid his tanned slender fingers on her shoulder.

"Um, okay, it cant hurt I suppose," said Anzu almost excitedly.

"What kind is it?" asked Joey.

"Just some crip," exclaimed Yugi happily.

"I get the first hit since I bought it," said Atem.

Atem smiled at the song playing in the backround, Red Red Wine by Bob Marley.

Atem put his eager lips to the blunt and inhaled deeply before passing to Joey.

Atem finally exhaled, smoke quickly filling the room.

After Joey and Yugi hit the blunt, it was Anzu's turn.

She took a small awkward puff and coughed her lungs out.

"Oh my god, I cant do this!" she said in frustration.

Atem took the blunt and had a sympathetic look on his face.

"Anzu, let me help you."

Atem took a smaller hit and held it in, he then pulled Anzu's face towards his, slowly blowing smoke into her mouth, as she inhaled.

The hit was much smoother this way, Anzu thought.

Anzu couldn't help but notice how close their lips were together…what an intimate way to smoke weed! She could get used to this.

Anzu exhaled as she and Atem pulled away from each other.

Everyone giggled at what just happened.

"Ey, Atem, if I didn't think you were tryin' to smash with that Yukai chick, Id think you were tryin' to jump Anzu's bones." laughed Joey.

Atem blushed.

"Im not into Yukai," Atem said sheepishly.

Yugi and joey couldn't stop laughing.

"Okay, its not that funny, your just high," said a very annoyed Atem.

"Yeah Joey, he's not into her, I mean, they were only making out in a corner at Kiki's party," Yugi said sarcastically.

Atem started fuming, he took the blunt and before hitting it again, he tried to set things straight.

"Look guys, we were drunk, and stoned, and it just happened, it didn't mean anything."

"whatever," Joey said in disbelief.

Anzu was hurt, she had always liked Atem, but it is clear that he does not return her feelings, he did not even see her the night before his final duel, when she thought that he would be gone forever.

Atem turned the tv on, and they all watched That 70's Show with red glassy eyes, all smiles on their faces, except Anzu.

Atem wondered why Anzu seemed so lethargic and sad, was she embarrassed when he gave her a shotgun?(shotgun: stoner term for when you blow smoke into someone's mouth and they inhale it, or when someone puts the blunt/joint in their mouth backwards and blows the smoke out into someone's mouth as they inhale it. Disclaimer: don't do drugs! Ha ha)

*Ding Dong*

Someone was at the door, Joey went to get it, still high as a giraffe's pussy.

Joey opened the door and shed a grin all the way up to his ears.

"Ey, Ateeeeemmm….Yukai's here to see you!"

Anzu quickly became alert, jealousy showing in the red of her cheeks.

Atem rose, surprised that Yukai came all the way to his house, just to see him.

"Konichiwa, Atem," said Yukai in a shy but graceful voice.

Atem could not help but look her up and down.

She was rather beautiful, jet black hair down to the small of her back, with bangs straight across, green eyes that shone brightly in contrast to her tan sun kissed skin.

She also looked quite womanly for someone with such a slender figure, having curves in all the right places.

"Konichiwa, Yukai…what brings you here?"

"Well, I was thinking about the other night, and I just wanted to tell you I was sorry that we got a little out of control…not that I didn't enjoy it," she giggled, and blushed at what she had said.

Atem smiled at her honesty and thought to himself that he didn't exactly mind the kiss either.

"Ha, its quite alright, we were fucked up, stuff happens."

"I was wondering…" Yukai looked up at Atem with big sad green eyes, "if you would attend the beach with me tonight?"

"Ummm…Ill pick you up at eight?" Atem asked awkwardly.

"Yay, hee-hee, thank you Atem, Yukai leaned in a gave him a peck on the cheek.

Atem blushed and waved goodbye as Yukai skipped away to her car cheerily.

Joey and Yugi laughed uncontrollably, continuing to get on Atem's nerves.

"Must you people be ever so unpleasant?" asked Atem, holding his head in his hands.

Atem became saddened with thoughts of the past.

anzu saw this and despite her anger towards the current situation, placed her hand on his knee.

"Atem...is something bothering you?" she asked, concerned.

"Hmm? Oh, its nothing, Anzu, you wouldnt understand."

Anzu was hurt by his answer, but pressed further.

"Try me."

Atem sighed and continued, smirking a bit through his sadness.

"Its Yukai, her perfume, it smelled of someone I knew long, long ago."

This confused Anzu, but she would never admit that.

"Do you miss this person?"

Atem laughed under his breath, and looked at her with those piercing eyes.

"Anzu, you have no idea."

With that he walked outside to go have a cigarette, leaving anzu behind to wonder.

I was just trying to help, she thought.

She stared through the glass at those dark, crimson locks...and those eyes that would always leave her breathless, the eyes that belonged to the man that owned her heart.

Why cant he see how much i care for him? she pondered.

After Atem returned, Anzu erased the previous thoughts on her mind, and pasted a fake smile on her face.

"Hey Atem, want me to help you pick out an outfit for tonight?" she asked with pleading eyes, hoping to spend more time with him while Yugi and Joey were busy.

"Uh, sure Anzu." he said, begginning to smile again himself.

Anzu rumaged through Atem's closet, while he sat on his bed.

Atem couldnt help but stare at her ass as she bent over, complaining about how everything in his closet was black.

She finally picked out a black undershirt, and some old jean shorts that went to his knees.

"Oh, i hate shorts." Atem complained.

"Oh, hush your skinny ass up, you look good in everything."

They both blushed at the same time, quickly silenced by the awkward moment.

"Um, well, you know what i mean..." Anzu said, embarrassed.

Atem laughed.

"I know, im dead sexy, you dont have to be shy."

"Shutup dummy."

Atem walked over to Anzu, and wrapped his arms around her.

She was shocked, but would never hesitate to return the embrace.

"Thankyou Anzu...I can always leave it to you to cheer me up."

Anzu felt delighted that he thought so, but she was getting far too comfortable with her head nesstled into his shoulder.

He finally let go, and quickly apologised.

"Im sorry, sudden burst of emotion I suppose," Atem joked.

"Its okay Atem...Im always here for you." Anzu exclaimed shyly.

*Later*

Atem was prepared for his date with Yukai...But he didnt feel right about it for some reason.

He stepped into his old, beat up, black mustang, and put in his three days grace cd for the ride.

Once he arrived at Yukai's house, he exited the car and walked up to the door.

Before he could even ring the door bell, Yukai opened the door.

Atem was surprsied, she was wearing a short white strapless sundress with small ruffles at the end, and had a white daisy in her raven hair.

She was gorgeous, with her ivy green eyes staring back at him.

"Well...what do you think?" Yukai asked.

Her angelic voice snapped him out of his daze.

"Uh, uh, you look, great!" Atem resumed his composure.

"What, no flowers?"

Atem was caught off guard.

"I-uhhh, well.."

"Im just kidding silly!" Yukai giggled.

Atem smiled, realising he shouldnt be so nervous.

He opened the car door for her, and they were both on their way to the beach, why she wanted to go to the beach at night, he didnt know.

He held her hand as he pulled her out of the car.

The sea air had a calming effect, and he laid a blanket on the ground, so they could sit without getting sand all over them.

"Are you afraid of getting a little dirty?" Yukai joked as she sunk her bare feet into the sand.

"No...trust me, im used to sand," Atem smiled.

"Im sorry, im not very good at dates," he said.

Yukai laid down on the blanket, and ignoring what Atem said, told him to lay with her and look at the stars.

"I havent dont this in a long time." Atem said quietly.

"What? looked at the stars, or gone a date?"

Atem laughed.

"Both, I suppose."

Yukai slowly shifted closer to Atem, and laid her head on his chest, much to the surprise of Atem, and he slowly, yet unsurely, put his arm around her.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

"No...but, its strange, I feel very, connected to for some reason, its as if ive known you forever, but..." Yukai struggled to find the words to explain herself.

Yukai quickly pulled away.

"Im sorry Atem, you must think im really weird."

"No, of course not Yukai, I understand, to be honest, i feel the same way about you but, i believe its because you remind me of someone i knew a long time ago."

"Really? Who do I remind you of?"

"Uh...its a long story."


	2. There Isnt a Day That Goes By

Hi guys, tis' just bad lil' Lolita here, I just wanted to mention im a newbie, so I would love to hear some reviews, if you want to be nasty and mean, go right ahead, I look forward too it, haha. Oh, and about the spelling errors in the first chapter, sorry…im a ditz sometimes, well hope you enjoy!

...

Shitsuren…

_What's wrong with me? I have stood by him for as long as I can remember, and he doesn't even see me the way I see him…he makes me feel so, so, insignificant. He is all I want, and all I need. Will we ever be together? I suppose all I can do is wait, but I feel I am not the one…the one who holds his heart._

Anzu lays in her bed, plagued by emotional turmoil surrounding Atem, the one and only man that had ever owned her heart.

_That's it, I cant take it anymore, if its never to become, it will be my fault if I never confess my feelings for him…he should be home by now, I have to tell him, better to get my heart broken now than later._

Anzu raced to her bike, to make her journey to the Mouto residence before she becomes weak again and changes her mind.

...

"Atem?" asked Yukai with pleading eyes.

"Yes Yukai?" Atem answered glumly.

"Will you please tell me about this person that you miss so much, I know you don't know me very well, but you can trust me, I promise. It is lovely to see the infamously confident Atem be vulnerable for once, just so you know."

Atem was aghast by the endearing look Yukai was giving him, it was the same look that she gave him whenever she wanted to know what was wrong, how can they be so similar? He wondered.

"Well, I don't know where to start, um basically, she was my first love, and she was the one that knew me inside and out, and the only one who could give me this…penetrating feeling in my heart, make me feel weak with one look. She was so lovely, and she balanced out my cold exterior with her warmth. But back then, me and her were forbidden to be with each other, and, because of my selfishness, I allowed the relationship to continue, because I could not bear to be without her…and because of me, she was killed…"

At this point, Atem grew very sorrowful.

"Im sorry, I've never told anyone before…Im so sorry, I don't know what's gotten into me, sharing my secrets with you on our first date."

"Shh…you shouldn't feel that way Atem, I am happy to hear about this wonderful woman that meant so much to you, please, go on" said Yukai, who hadn't blinked once during his story.

"There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her, she was my heart and soul, its been so long, but…I remember ever moment, ever touch, every word that ever left her lips."

Yukai saw that Atem's eyes became glassy, with progressing tears.

She then wrapped her arms around him, squeezing hard, as if to extract his pain and bear it for him.

_Why is she so kind…its as if she feels at home in my darkness. God, this perfume, her eyes, her voice, its killing me inside, she is so much like her its ridiculous…but, this torture, it is sweet, and for some reason I cannot bear to let go of her._

Atem struggled with confusion.

"Atem," she said, still not letting go.

"Your pain, I wish it was mine, it hurts more to see you this way…it must be hard, I cannot imagine what your going through, but, if its not wrong to say, im flattered that I remind you of such a lovely person."

"Yukai, I do not deserve such empathy, why are you so kind to me?" asked Atem, completely disillusioned.

"Why shouldn't I? Besides, I have never felt this way about anyone…I barely know you, and like I said before, I feel connected to you in some way, Im sorry, I cant explain it."

Atem was overcome by so many emotions, and couldn't help but feel overpowered by the gaze she was giving him, those sea foam green eyes were piercing his soul in a way that hadn't been done in thousands of years.

He placed his hands below her jaw, cradling her face towards his. Their lips were in a collision path that could not be obstructed.

Just as their lips met, and beating hearts drummed wildly, rain down poured from the sky, cascading from their heated bodies.

_What am I doing? My heart belongs to another, but…Yukai has evoked this passion in me, and I fear I cannot deny it, it is too strong for me in this weakened state…her lips taste so sweetly familiar, like brown sugar. _

His traced her small frame, caressing every curve of her body.

Suddenly, Atem pulled back.

"What's the matter Atem? Im sorry, I should have known not to kiss you while you were feeling vulnerable.." said Yukai, in a shaken voice.

"No, no, its not that, I just, I shouldn't be doing this…"

"But you kissed me…you must have some feelings for me."

"Of course I do…Im just, im not ready yet, I need some time."

"Anything you wish, but promise me something, promise me that you will give me a chance."

"What do you mean?" asked Atem.

"I mean…open your heart up to me, I know its hard, but get to know me, I will wait as long as you need, but not if you will not give me a chance." Yukai said with tears hidden by the rain.

_She really does care for me…but when I look at her, all I can see is the love I lost long ago._

"Yukai…I promise you, I will open my heart up to you, thank you for being so understanding, im sorry."

"No need to be sorry my pha-I mean, Atem."

"What?" asked Atem, shocked by what he thought she was going to say.

"Um, I don't know, I almost called you something else, how embarrassing."

Atem helped her up so that they could walk back to the car. On the way, Yukai grasped his hand softly.

Before he could even say anything, Yukai saw the look he made, and calmly told him,

"Don't be so afraid of me Atem…I wont try to stop you if it is Anzu that you want to be with."

What? How did she know that I have feelings for Anzu too? Is there something I don't know?

Atem froze, shocked by her statement.

"Relax Atem, I just noticed before when I was your house, how she looks at you, and how she looked at me…as if I was a threat." Yukai said with undertones of melancholy in her voice.

"Y-you think Anzu has feelings for me? That's silly." Atem said trying to hide the sudden flush of his cheeks.

"Is it?" Yukai whispered as she stared into his deep crimson eyes.

_That look again, it leaves me breathless every time. She's so…beautiful, and it seems she knows more than she's letting on. What am I going to do?_

_..._

"Thanks for letting me in Yugi…" said Anzu, soaking wet from the rain.

"Oh no problem, um, do you want to borrow some dry clothes?"

"Sure, uh, Yugi? Is Atem home yet?"

"No, I guess he's still with Yukai, but they should be leaving the beach by now, considering the rain and all…why? Did have something important to ask him? I mean it is late." asked Yugi.

"No, nothing at all," said Anzu in a solemn tone.

"Ill give you some of Atem's clothes, mine are in the wash"

"Um, okay, ill just wait for him here I guess, is that okay with you?" asked Anzu.

"Of course Anzu, your welcome here anytime, you should really just spend the night, I wouldn't want you riding back to your house this late, or in the rain." Yugi said, cheeks flaring.

"Sure…" Anzu said, with a plastic smile on her face.

Yugi brought back a light blue t-shirt, and a pair of dark blue plaid boxers.

"Haha, Yugi, I cant where Atem's boxers!" Anzu exclaimed.

"Well, unless you want to wear some tight ass skinny jeans to sleep in, remember, Atem doesn't wear Pajamas to bed. Don't worry, he wont mind, your like family to us."

_Like family…why cant I be more?_

_..._

"Well, were here Yukai."

Atem looked at the rundown trailer that was her home. The windows were broken, and screen door was barely attached.

"Im sorry…" said Yukai, looking down, and away from Atem.

"For what?" asked Atem, concerned by the sudden change in emotion.

"When you picked me up you must have been shocked by the filthy place I live in…"

"Yukai, you have nothing to be ashamed of! I would never judge anyone by their financial status, Im not that kind of person."

At that moment, a man came running out of the trailer. He was covered in sweat and black grease from a car, was wearing a torn wife beater and some jeans, had a shaved head and was quite muscular.

"Father!" Yukai said in shock.

He approached the car, opened the door and yanked Yukai out by her wrist, causing her to cry.

"Your drunk again…please Father don't do this! Not now." pleaded Yukai.

Atem jumped out of the car immediately, and shoved her father roughly in the opposite direction.

"I wouldn't treat a woman like that in my presence, that is if you don't want any trouble." Atem threatened, obviously angered by her Father's behavior.

"Atem, no, just don't worry about me ill be fine, im used to this."

"That's terrible, you shouldn't be." Atem said.

"Yukai, you little whore, bringing home a guy, no doubt he's already gotten into your pants, don't you know how to be a lady? Your nothing but a slut, a filthy, dirty, slut!"

Before Atem could react, Yukai's Father slapped her across the face, hard.

Atem didn't hesitate to teach her father a lesson.

"You dare strike a female?"

Yukai sat on the ground in terror, no one had ever been so caring…she was in awe.

Atem pounded into the man's face with clenched fists again and again. When her Father stopped moving, and blood trickled down from his nose, Atem stopped.'=

"Yukai, are you alright?" Atem asked, as he returned to her side, kneeling on the ground with his arm around her.

"Im quite alright Atem, but, I fear he will be furious when he wakes up…" Yukai said, plagued with worry.

"You don't have to worry about that, your coming home with me…"


End file.
